The Bikers and the
Welfare Poem - - - gosh how pathetic
I cross ocean, poor and broke,
Take bus, see employment folk.
Nice man treat me good in there,
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, "You come no more,
We send cash right to your door."
Welfare checks, they make you wealthy,
Medicaid it keep you healthy!
By and by, I got plenty money,
Thanks to you, Canadian dummy.
Write to friends in motherland,
Tell them 'come fast as you can.'
They come in turbans and Ford trucks,
I buy big house with welfare bucks.
They come here, we live together,
It gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in,
But neighbour's patience wearing thin.
Finally, white guy moves away,
Now I buy his house, and then I say,
"Find more aliens for house to rent."
And in the yard I put a tent.
Send for family they just trash,
But they, too, draw the welfare cash!
Everything is very good,
And soon we own the neighbourhood.
We have hobby it's called breeding,
Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wife need pills?
We get free! We got no bills!
Canadian crazy! He pay all year,
To keep welfare running here.
We think Canada darn good place!
Too darn good for the white man race.
If they no like us, they can scram,
Got lots of room in Pakistan.
An old man went into a bar to have a drink,
and watched all the girls
sitting at the counter, so he said to the guy next to him: Wow I would
sure like to have one of those girls.
The guy replied: Hey that's possible coz all the girls works for me, which
one do you want ?
The old man pointed at one of them and said how about her ?
Ok come with me, so you can meet her.
The old man replied: Hey wait a minute !! How much is this gonna cost me ?
Well it all depends on your age, how old are you ?
I just turned 89 years old.
That'll be $89 then !!
"89 DOLLARS" ??? the old man yelled, are you putting me on ?????
No that'll be $5 extra !!
The Bikers and the Good Samaritan
A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing,"
the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the
Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of mean bikers who were
threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they
"So, I approached the largest and most
heavily tattooed biker and smacked
him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw
it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off, or I'll kick the shit out of
all of you!"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago."
The biker was wearing a leather jacket that
didn't have a zipper
or any buttons.
Finally he stopped the bike and told the other
guy,"I can't drive cold
like this anymore with the air hitting me in my chest."
After thinking for a while he decided to put
the coat on
backwards to block the cold air from hitting him. So they were
driving down the road and they came around this curb and
wrecked. The farmer that lived there called the police and told
them what happened.
The police asked him,"are either of them
showing any life
The farmer then said, "well, that first
one was 'til I turned his
head around the right way."
This big ugly biker walks into the bar with
a parrot on his shoulder,
orders a beer and a shot. The bartender sets him up and says,
"That's really cool, where did you get him?"
"Sturgis." Replied the parrot, "They're all over the friggin place!"
A biker is riding a new motorcycle on the highway.
While passing a car, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window and says, "Yes?" The bike responds, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The driver says, "No I haven't."
The biker drives on, until he sees the next car. While passing it, he knocks on the window. The driver of the car opens the window and says, "Yes?" The bike responds, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The driver says, "No I haven't."
Then, suddenly, there is a curve, the biker
sees it too late. He crashes off the road into a ditch. A car stops and a
man runs to the unlucky biker. Covered in blood and surely dying, the biker
asks, "Ever driven a Honda motorcycle?" The man replies, "Yes
I have. I had a Honda for 20 years". The biker asks, "Where are
Biker Meet Viagra
Crash, the Biker, walks into a pharmacy & says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three biker babes coming over tonight. I've never had three biker babes at once, & I need something to keep me horny, keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer & takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" & says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go NUTS for 12 hours!"
The next day, Crash rides down to the same pharmacy, walks right up to the same pharmacist & pulls down his pants.
The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices that Crash's Johnson is black & blue with the skin hanging off in some places.
Crash says, "Gimme a bottle of Ben Gay."
The pharmacist replies, "BEN GAY?! You're
not going to put Ben Gay on
your dick while it's in that condition?"
Crash says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."
One night, a police officer was stalking out
a particularly rowdy biker bar
for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing
time, he saw one of the bikers stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb,
try his keys on five different bikes before he found his. Then, sat on the
bike fumbling around several minutes, looking as if he might pass out
right there. Everyone left the bar and rode off. Finally, he started his
engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He
stopped the biker, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer
test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded
to know how that could be. The biker replied, "Tonight, I'm the
Saddam's Cat Is Up For Adoption.